That’s the only gift I need.”ĭear Amy: I have meant to write to you since the pandemic started. And let’s plan to do something fun together. Can we start a new tradition? Instead of gifts, I’d love just a card. This year, you should say, “Because my birthday is so close to Christmas, I feel overwhelmed with gifts. Donating these gifts to your local Goodwill or rummage sale would at least keep them out of the landfill and would respect (in a minimal way) your friend’s generous intent. How do I tell her not to buy me anything this year without hurting her feelings?ĭear Gifted: First of all, you should not “trash” any item that might prove desirable or useful to someone else. I usually end up trashing the gifts because I would be too embarrassed to even regift them to anyone. The gifts that she gave me last year have been in the trunk of my car since she gave them to me in December (my birthday is December 27). Things need to change.”ĭear Amy: Every year for Christmas and my birthday I have one friend that gives me a gift that I don’t want or can’t use. And if you love me and want to build a healthier relationship, you’ll come with me. When your wife tells you, “It’s my way or the highway,” you should calmly respond: “I’m taking the highway. You should contact your family members as often as you want to, and visit with them if you are able. I also suggest that you should seriously consider defying your wife.
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I highly recommend professional counseling for you. Apologies have been offered and rejected.Ī skilled couples counselor could help you two to change the way you communicate, but dominating and abusive people tend to reject therapy - because their behavior serves their own purposes. I’m going to take it as a given that the grievances which sparked this estrangement are not serious, and happened many years ago. She then continues to punish and isolate you, and sometimes taunts you - just because she wants to. Through her controlling behavior, your wife has managed to create a near-total estrangement from all of your relatives. I just want to get past this.ĭear Tired: I don’t want to burst your bliss bubble, but the behavior you describe is abusive. She also will throw in a taunt every couple of days, for no specific reason. I can’t speak with my family without her taunting me about it. Saturday, August 5th 2023 Home Page Close MenuĪsk Amy: Husband’s teasing doesn’t qualify as “humor”Īfter years of fighting, I am feeling very constrained.
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